What is Sex Therapy? How Highly Specialized, Expert Care Can Help Reconnect the Dots between Intimacy and Fun
- CaitlinBovard
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
By Caitlin Bovard, LPC, owner and Dual-Certified Sex Therapist at Colorado Sex Therapy
Ah, early January. There's still a hazy motivational buzz in the air, despite an unseasonably warm and notably snowless (RIP early season skiing) beginning of the year here in Colorado. Whether guilt, a resolution to "fix" your sex life, or a combination, more people than you might think are also wondering, "Would sex therapy actually help me?" and perhaps "What even is sex therapy? Is it sex or is it therapy?" (probably the latter on the last one).
As someone who has offered online sex therapy in Colorado for years, I can tell you this: Sex is a huge part of being human and the quality of relationships, yet it is one of the hardest topics for most of us to discuss.
Whether you are feeling stuck, disconnected, curious, or simply want to feel more comfortable in your own body, sex therapy can be a supportive and empowering place to begin. There's no shame in being a beginner or not knowing something , so let's start with the most basic question:
What Is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is "talk therapy" that focuses on your sexual wellbeing, intimacy, and pleasure. Criminally oversimplified, sometimes sex therapy is processing and sometimes it is pragmatic.
Processing might look like using the container of therapy to explore what may be getting in the way of feeling connected, confident, and satisfied, whether physically, emotionally, or relationally. Topics we may explore include stress, communication, self-image, past experiences, or medical concerns. My role is to help you understand how all of these pieces fit together and to support you in creating the kind of intimate life you want.
Practice, for lack of a better word TBH, is the pragmatic side of therapy that sometimes folks assume only coaches provide, when sex therapists like myself have tons of training on tools and evidence-based exercises, some in use since the 1960s (Masters & Johnson's non-hands on work, iykyk!). Everyone learns, processes and integrates differently and has varying levels of time and capacity, so this can be tailored exercises, prompts, podcasts, books, etc. depending on the client and current wants/needs. These resources are for clients to utilize outside of session if they want, and will not sexually involve the therapist (see next paragraph).
What Sex Therapy Is Not
It is important to understand what sex therapy is not. While we can talk about sexual experiences, fantasies, and detailed concerns in a safe and nonjudgmental space, there are clear professional boundaries:
Sex therapy does not include sexual contact. You will never be asked to touch yourself, have sex with the therapist, or act out a fantasy. This is illegal, unethical, and never part of therapy.
Solicitation or Sponsorship. You will not be asked to buy any supplements, pressured into seeing another medical practitioner (i.e. for medication), or told to use a certain brand.
It is not a quick fix. Therapy is about exploration, awareness, and skill-building, not instant solutions or magic formulas. If something liked that worked, you probably wouldn't be looking for a sex therapist right now!
I like to be transparent that one session is nearly always not enough to improve long-embedded sexual concerns, but it may be enough to see if we're a good fit. Budgeting for 3 or 6 sessions is a more realistic "college try."
Rigid Advice. While sex therapists use coaching, brainstorming and suggest exercises for between sessions, you won't be graded if you don't do your "homework." Instead, we will examine what gets in the way of you and continue to tailor to your unique brain.
Sex therapy is a professional, ethical, and safe space to talk about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships in detail, while always keeping your boundaries and safety as the top priority. There is nothing wrong with sex work or sexual surrogacy, it is just not something I offer.
Common Reasons People Come to Sex Therapy
Everyone’s story is unique, but here are some of the most common reasons people reach out:
Feeling disconnected from a partner or wanting to deepen intimacy
Low or mismatched desire, when sex feels like a chore or "loaded"
Challenges with arousal, orgasm, or erections
Pain or anxiety related to sex
Disappointment that sex isn't what others/media makes it seem
Wanting help accommodating sensory differences
Healing from sexual trauma or shame
Exploring sexual orientation, gender, or identity
Adjusting to life changes such as postpartum shifts, menopause, or aging
Sometimes it is not about a problem at all. Some seek therapy simply because they want more joy, more pleasure, or a better understanding of their sexual self. Some clients even see me without a sex therapy focus because parts of their lives or relationships are non-traditional and they have been subtly judged, talked down to or even harmed by other therapists.
What Online Sex Therapy Looks Like
I offer virtual sex therapy for clients throughout Colorado, so you can join sessions from the comfort and privacy of your own space. Many people find that online sessions make it easier to open up. You can show up in your favorite sweatpants, bring a pet, and talk about topics that might feel difficult to discuss in person.
The process is similar to any other form of therapy. We talk, explore, get curious, and build awareness and skills that help you feel more at ease in your sexuality.
How to Know If Sex Therapy Is Right for You
If you have ever felt disconnected in your sexual connection, unsure about what you want, or like you are carrying too much pressure or shame around sex, sex therapy could help. While I can't realistically (or ethically) in a blog post say for sure sex therapy is right for you at this time, or that another professional might not be more appropriate, this is a big reason why I offer a free phone consultation. You do not need to have all the answers or know exactly what you are looking for. You just need a willingness to show up, be curious, and take small steps toward feeling more like yourself.
I take a sex-positive, inclusive approach. All sexual orientations, gender identities, relationship styles, and bodies are welcome here. You do not need to fit a mold or have everything figured out.
Ready to Explore?
If you are thinking, "Maybe sex therapy is right for me," why not find out?
You don’t have to navigate sex or relationship concerns alone. I provide compassionate, sex-positive online sex therapy for individuals and couples, offering a confidential space to work through issues like desire, intimacy, anxiety, shame, or relationship stress. You can learn more about my approach to sex therapy, explore services and pricing, or schedule a free online consultation to see if working together feels right. When you’re ready, support is here.
Just a heads up: This blog is for informational purposes only and isn’t meant to be taken as medical or mental health advice or treatment. Always talk with a licensed provider about your specific situation and reach out to emergency services if in crisis.