Healing from Religious Trauma: How Virtual Sex Therapy Can Help You Reclaim Your Pleasure
- CaitlinBovard
- Oct 20
- 3 min read
By Caitlin Bovard, LPC, Certified Couples Therapist, Dual-Certified Sex Therapist (AASECT CST) offering online sex therapy for individuals, couples and partners in Colorado
Religious trauma isn’t always visible, but its effects can be lifelong. Many people in Colorado and beyond grew up in religious environments where shame, fear, and control were masked as love or morality. If you're struggling with sexual shame, anxiety, or confusion about your identity, religious trauma may be at the root.
In this post, we'll explore:
What religious trauma and purity culture trauma looks like
How it affects sexuality and relationships
Why sex therapy is a powerful tool for healing
How virtual therapy works if you live in Colorado
What Does Religious Trauma Feel Like?
Religious trauma can show up in many ways, even long after you've left a faith community. You might feel:
Deep guilt around sexual desire
Shame about masturbation, attraction, or pleasure
Fear of eternal punishment or unworthiness
Conflicted about gender roles or identity
Isolated from friends or family due to changing beliefs
Hypervigilant, anxious, or emotionally numb
Many clients describe feeling like their body is “not their own,” especially if purity culture emphasized modesty, abstinence, or submission.
The Link Between Religious Trauma and Sexual Shame
Teachings that label normal sexual feelings as sinful can leave lasting scars. Whether you were taught to suppress desire, avoid certain relationships, or fear your body, these messages can make adult intimacy feel confusing or even dangerous.
This is especially true for LGBTQ+ individuals, people raised in fundamentalist or high-control religions, and those exposed to purity culture.
📿 The Lasting Impact of Purity Culture on Sex and Intimacy
If you were raised in a religious environment that emphasized purity culture, you may have internalized deep messages about your worth being tied to your virginity, modesty, or “sexual purity.” These teachings often go far beyond abstinence—they shape your relationship with your body, sexuality, and even emotional intimacy.
Purity culture teaches that:
Your value is based on remaining “sexually pure” until marriage
Sexual thoughts or desires are sinful, especially outside a heteronormative context
The responsibility for managing sexual “temptation” often falls disproportionately on women or AFAB individuals
Masturbation, exploration, and pleasure are wrong or dirty
Marital sex is automatically fulfilling if you’ve “waited”
These beliefs can have long-term effects, even after you've left the religious context.
Common Effects of Purity Culture Trauma:
Sexual Shame: Feeling guilty or dirty for experiencing desire, even in consensual, adult relationships.
Anxiety Around Intimacy: Difficulty relaxing or staying present during sexual or emotional closeness.
Fear-Based Conditioning: Associating sex with sin, fear of hell, or spiritual consequences.
Body Disconnection: Struggling to feel at home in your body or to recognize physical boundaries.
Performance Pressure: Feeling like you must “flip a switch” and suddenly enjoy sex after marriage, leading to confusion or distress.
Difficulty Communicating Needs: Lacking language or confidence to express sexual boundaries or preferences.
How Colorado Sex Therapy Can Help You Reconnect
Sex therapy is about so much more than sex. It's about healing your relationship with yourself.
In virtual therapy, we’ll help you:
Unpack harmful messages about sex and your body
Learn to recognize and challenge internalized shame
Develop a new, healthy framework for sexuality
Reclaim agency, pleasure, and confidence
Feel safe to explore identity and connection on your own terms
Why Virtual Therapy Works
Our virtual therapy sessions are ideal for clients across Colorado, especially if:
You live in a rural or conservative area
You’re not ready for in-person sessions
You want privacy and flexibility
You feel more comfortable processing from home
All sessions are held on a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform. Whether you're in Denver or a small mountain town, you can access professional care.
You’re Not Alone, And You’re Definitely Not Broken
Religious trauma doesn’t define you. You are not broken, sinful, or beyond healing. With the right support, you can rewrite your story, and reclaim your life.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you're ready to start unpacking religious trauma and rediscovering your sexuality in a safe, affirming space, I'm accepting new clients! You don’t have to keep carrying shame or confusion around sex and relationships. Whether you’re exploring your erotic identity, navigating neurodivergence, or simply wanting more from your intimate life, therapy can help.
If you’re a Coloradan looking for a compassionate, affirming space to talk about sex, I invite you to reach out. Let’s find out what healing, growth, and pleasure can look like for you.
You deserve to feel confident in your relationships, your body, and your mind.
Just a heads up: This blog is for informational purposes only and isn’t meant to be taken as medical or mental health advice or treatment. Always talk with a licensed provider about your specific situation and reach out to emergency services if in crisis.
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