“How Often Should I Come to Sex Therapy?” A Friendly Guide to Finding Your Just-Right Rhythm
- CaitlinBovard
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
By Caitlin Bovard, LPC, CST: sex therapy specialist for queer, neurodivergent-knowledgeable online therapy for adults, couples and relationships in Colorado
If you’ve ever stared at a therapist’s scheduling page the way you stare at a restaurant menu:“Do I want the weekly? The biweekly? Should I splurge on the once-a-month chef’s special?”, you’re not alone.
One of the top questions I get as an online sex therapist here in Colorado is:
“What’s the best interval for sessions?”
And like most things in the nebulous realms of therapy, sexuality, relationships, and nervous systems…it depends. (But don’t click away yet, I promise to give you real answers.)
Let’s talk about what tends to work, what most people choose, and what the journey usually looks like from those first sessions all the way to maintenance mode.
A Quick Note Before We Dive In:
**You Don’t Need a Standing Appointment**
In other words, I don’t require a weekly slot or a permanent “every-other-Thursday-at-3pm” commitment.
Why?
Because life in Denver, Fort Collins, Summit County, across Colorado and… well, planet Earth, can get chaotic. Schedules change. Energy shifts. Kids need things. Work gets busy. The dog eats something mysterious. Or even better, you or I take much-encouraged time off and can't meet.
So here’s how we do it in my practice:
✔ We start with your first session
We get a feel for your story, your goals, and what’s on the horizon.
✔ We talk about a possible rhythm
But lightly, and not like you’re signing a gym contract that follows you until the end of time.
✔ And then? We decide as we go.
If you start weekly and later need biweekly, great. If you start biweekly and want to slow to monthly, perfect. If you want to switch week to week depending on your workload, mental bandwidth, or emotional capacity, that works too.
No standing appointment required. No long-term schedule locked in. Just flexibility, collaboration, and real life. You can even request and manage your own appointments on my secure portal 24/7.
Okay, back to the usual pacing options…
Stage 1: The Beginning (a.k.a. ‘Let’s Build Some Momentum’)
Think of the beginning of therapy like learning a new dance, or like your first few weeks at a new job, but with more feelings and fewer awkward onboarding videos.
You’re sharing your story and getting to know me and my style of therapy. I’m getting to know your patterns, your strengths, your hopes, and yes, your worries. We’re mapping out your goals and building trust.
This is where momentum really matters.
Option A: Weekly Sessions (The “Let’s Get In There” Plan)
Weekly is typically ideal if you have the bandwidth financially, emotionally, energetically. Why weekly?
You’re laying foundations
You’re making discoveries (sometimes big ones!)
You’re practicing skills
You’re connecting dots
And momentum feels… really good
But only if it’s not stressful. The last thing you need is for scheduling and budgeting for therapy to be an added stressor on top of everything else. If weekly feels like juggling flaming bowling pins, how about we not do that.
Option B: Biweekly Sessions (The “Goldilocks” Plan, or voted "Most Popular")
If weekly is the high-intensity interval training of therapy, then biweekly is the brisk walk with a scenic view. And honestly? This is the most popular schedule for a reason.
It gives enough time between sessions to try things out in real life…but not so much time that you forget what we talked about or lose the thread of your goals.
If you’re juggling work, family, deadlines, pets, chronic stress, existential dread, or literally anything else, biweekly often feels just right.
Stage 2: The Middle Months (a.k.a. ‘Hey, This Is Working!’)
After a month or two, you’re usually getting into the groove.
If we started weekly, many people shift down to biweekly. If we started biweekly, some stay right there or even add an extra session in the off weeks from time to time.
During this stage, we might be:
Refining communication patterns
Building confidence and comfort with your body
Working through blocks, worries, or past experiences
Trying out new things, solo, or with a partner
Stabilizing and reinforcing the skills you’re learning, adjusting as needed
Celebrating tiny and not-so-tiny wins
This is often the stage where people start saying things like:
“I didn’t freak out this time! Progress!”
“I actually brought this up with my partner!”
“I feel more like myself again.”
"I gave myself credit when I'd usually dismiss my own effort as luck"
"I reminded myself to be kind to myself and listen to my gut!"
And if you're thinking, “Should I keep the same pace?” we’ll talk about it together. The sweet spot is where you feel supported but not overwhelmed.
Stage 3: Maintenance Mode (a.k.a. ‘Therapy, But Make It Casual’)
Once the big goals feel more manageable and you’re moving with more ease and confidence, many people naturally shift to monthly or every 3–4 weeks. At this point, some people end therapy on a high note knowing my (virtual) door is always open if our schedules still match up.
Think of this like the adult version of getting your braces tightened, or going to a doctor every year for a checkup.
Maintenance sessions help you:
Keep grounded in the progress you’ve made
Check in when life gets lifey
Stay accountable to your goals
Prevent backsliding into old patterns
Have a neutral, supportive space when new things come up
Work through other topics (non-sexual even!) with a therapist who knows you
Some folks stay in maintenance for a few months. Some pop in and out as needed, kind of like keeping a good mechanic on call. And again, some say, “I think I’m good for now!” and "graduate" therapy with my wholehearted best wishes.
So… what’s the “best” interval?
The best interval is the one that:
✔ fits your schedule
✔ fits your budget
✔ supports healing without overwhelming you
✔ keeps the momentum going at a pace that feels doable
Most people begin with weekly or biweekly, spend a few months refining and building skills, and then slide into a comfortable maintenance rhythm.
It’s not rigid. It’s not forever. It’s just a supportive rhythm we shape together.
If You’re Thinking About Starting…
I’d love to help you find the right pace for you; no pressure, no judgment, just thoughtful collaboration (and maybe a few laughs along the way).
Ready to begin or adjust your rhythm? You can book a session or consultation on my scheduling page anytime.
Your sexual wellness deserves a pace that feels good.
Let’s find it together, and continue the conversation throughout our work!
Online Sex Therapy in Colorado
I offer online sex therapy throughout Colorado, allowing clients to access specialized care from their own space. Many people find virtual sessions feel safer, more private, and easier to integrate into real life.
If you’re wondering whether sex therapy could help with your specific concerns, that’s exactly what a free consultation is for.
Ready to Learn More?
You don’t need to know exactly what’s “wrong” to reach out. If sex feels confusing, stressful, disconnected, or simply not as good as you’d like it to be, support is available.
I provide inclusive, sex-positive online sex therapy for individuals and couples in Colorado.
You can learn more about my approach to sex therapy, explore services and pricing, or schedule a free online consultation to see if working together feels right. When you’re ready, support is here.
Just a heads up: This blog is for informational purposes only and isn’t meant to be taken as medical or mental health advice or treatment. Always talk with a licensed provider about your specific situation and reach out to emergency services if in crisis.
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